DJ Talent !

On Saturday, I watched Britain's Got Talent !, a talent show dedicated to finding Britain's brightest talent, and then giving them the chance to perform at the Royal Variety Performance in front of the Queen.

One person on the show who stood out for me was rapper Anthony Ghoosh, aka DJ Talent. He said his rap would "blow the show to pieces", and it certainly did!

When I say Britain’s, you say talent! Britain’s got talent… it’s the DJ Talent!
When I say Britain’s, you say talent! Britain’s got talent… it’s the DJ Talent!
When I say Britain’s, you say talent! Britain’s got talent… it’s the DJ Talent!
When I say Britain’s, you say talent! Britain’s got talent… it’s the DJ Talent!

Right, you get the picture of what he was singing. It was very poor, but catchy.

So after the rap, he invited Kelly Brook to dinner, with Simon Cowell accepting the invitation on behalf of Brook. Here, on Mr. Satire's blog, we have the full story of where Ghoosh took her and what happened. . .

Ghoosh rang her up, as agreed beforehand, at 7pm. Brook was expecting something classy, despite the offer of chicken and salad. When Brook answered the phone, Ghoosh went into his rendition:

"When I say Britain’s, you say talent! Britain’s got talent… it’s the DJ Talent!"
"Look, Anthony, I wanted a free meal. please don't mess about. I don't want any unwanted media attention, " said Kelly.
"Sorry Kelly !"

When Anthony announced on the phone that the dream meal he had promised had to be cancelled due to his £7,000 teeth falling out, our Britain's Got Talent judge wasn't happy, to say the least.

"What do you mean, you can't make it ?!" Brook screeched.
"Well, I had a can of coke and the acid reacted with my gold teeth, which my mate down the pub said were in fact plastic, and they've melted."

Anthony Goosh, ready for his dream date, was cruelly given a harsh blow when Brook slammed the phone down. It's a hard life being a rapper on a talent show. . .

Romanian Rugby Fight !

Normally, a match between two rivals may end in a few bruises, a cut lip or some minor injury. This rugby match between Dinamo Bucaresti and Farul Constata, however, turned into a full-scale brawl, as you can see in the picture to the left.

The trouble erupted after a scrum next to Bucaresti's posts, but the brawl spread around the whole pitch, with nearly every player getting involved.

The Romanian Rugby Federation suspended two Farul players and seven from Dinamo for between seven and ten games. The Farul president and a club coach were also penalised, along with the Dinamo trainer.

The pansies in England, who claim to have the roughest and toughest rivalries in the world, can no longer do so following this fight.

If you would like to see the fight, the link is here.

A Disaster Waiting To Happen. . .

Talksport Radio are currently closing in on a deal that will see Russell Brand and Noel Gallagher have a regular show on the station dedicated to football banter.

Ofcom, get ready now. . .

The "Are You Being Serious?" Moment Of The Week !

Hopefully, this will be a weekly feature to my blog. If I can motivate myself to do it, however, could be a potential snag. Regular nagging from Aviator Gray could persuade me to continue if he really likes it. If you really like this, or any other, part of my blog, please leave a comment saying so.

Now, onto to the post. Beauty pageants have to put up with all kinds of abuse from critics, ranging from how stupid, or how they only won the competition by sleeping with the judges. Dayana Mendoza, pictured left, who has recently won Miss Universe, will have to suffer a bit more, with a bit of banter coming from myself. Well, Miss Mendoza visited the Guantanamo Bay prison in Cuba a few days ago, and to quote her about how she felt about the prison, with its history of torture and hobbled orange-suited inmates.

This is a direct quote, in which she said the prison was “a looot of fun”. Miss Mendoza, are you talking about the prison which has attracted unwanted controversy lately thanks to accusations of abuse, neglect and, pretty much, horrible things ? You weren't talking about a pretty holiday camp with cute little kids running around. No, sirree, you were talking about one of the worst prisons in the whole entire world.

By the way, what was she doing there anyway ? It isn't one of the tourist destinations, I believe. I'll leave that one to you guys. . .

The Apprentice . . . sucks !

When there's nothing on television, you just have to watch something. Do that or go crazy.

So I decided to watch BBC One's The Apprentice, where 17 devious, indsidious, sly, sneaky, treacherous, crooked. . . Right, you get the picture about what I think the contestants are like. I tried to think of 17 adjectives to describe them best, but I guess I can't think of them all.

The first task, Alan Sugar said, who incidentally can't run a football club but thinks he can run a business, was to start up a cleaning company. A cleaning company ? A flippin' cleaning company ?! Very interesting, Alan. . . You might claim to have a fantastic chain of businesses, Alan, but you won't ever win "The Most Entertaining Ideas For Your Stupid Programme" award !

The boys team, named Empire (Been listening to far too much Kasabian for my liking) decided to hose cars, but with the windows open !! Cue angry car salesman rating and raving at the clueless idiots, who protest their innocence.

The girls team, on the other hand, are just as bad; they decided to wash luxury cars with oven cleaner, which, unsurprisingly, didn't go down well with Alan once the task was eventually completed. Are you surprised ?

After the programme, which I thought was very bad, I shook my head, thought about how poor Auntie Beeb was getting, and had a can of coke. Now that was more exciting than The Apprentice. . .